Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Dates with the Death

Yesterday I had been to the semester's first Inklings session, Writing Club's official meet. We met new people; introduced ourselves. The theme of the session was Narrative Styles. A few interesting prompts were put up to write on. I wrote the following piece of fiction. Guess the prompt will follow.

 Today is 31st of August. The anxiety has officially kicked in.

I've known it for three years now. The device worked perfectly well to display the auspicious date, the date I am to die, but blew up in my face when it was to tell me the year; and blew down all my plans for the future like a wall of cards.

A thousand days have passed, yet I don't know what fun the Satan wants to have, killing me on the Fifth of September. Is it because I hated most of my teachers? Or that most of my students hate me now?

My death day is just a week away. The usual cycle has begun; the binge watching those same old shows, binge eating or shall I say, drowning in gravy, and listening to the old tunes till my ears go numb. I woke up yesterday in a puddle of melted ice cream; I don't know how much of it was from the tub and how much from my vessels. But, the most fun affair still remains freaking everyone out by throwing a death day party.

The first year was the worst. I expected to die peacefully as the clock hit twelve. I was waiting. The hour hand slowly moved to one, but there was no sign of my clandestine rendezvous with Death. The hour hand turned two rounds, but Death never turned up. I had spent all my savings, hoping Death will be faithful. I see it now. I was so naive. His was among the many laughs I had to painfully bear.

I've had three bouts with him, but no knockouts yet. Neither am I able to overcome that fear, nor do I succumb. Even shelling out resources to the psychotherapist has been of no help. The nerves seem to be getting closer every year. One of these years, I might just kill myself to prove my device's prophesy right. I guess, this is how all prophesies come true.

I believe I'm gonna die on a Fifth of September. Hopefully, my postmortem declares death due to natural causes.

The writing was followed by reading your piece out loud, and expecting some constructive criticism. Maybe because it was the first of many sessions, everyone just felt awestruck hearing others' stories and poems, and just praised. No one received any criticism. The session was welcoming. Oh! I almost forgot. The prompt read, 'You know your Death Date, but not the Year.'

Sunday, August 28, 2016

The time is now? The ground here?

Its 9'o'clock in the night. The TV room is filled with overly excited cricket fans watching a T20 match between India and West Indies. The room can easily fit 50-60 people. I lie not; Right now there's no place to step in. I  just left and had to step over some feet to get back to my room. That's right, I'm not one of those fans who'll watch the whole match. So, I'm sitting in my room with a wireless keyboard in my lap and my roommate's laptop on the other side of the room.
Right place? I don't know.

I have an assignment to complete, a tutorial to solve, programs to write for tomorrow's laboratory, and revise for the quizzes beginning Thursday. Listening to my roomie's mixed English-Hindi-Punjabi playlist, even I'm thinking , as much as you are, if not more, why I am typing this. There's a cricket match going on. I studied in the morning; Played badminton in the evening; Shouldn't I just shut down?
Right time? I don't know.

Looking inside, I feel like I've been living a dual life of sorts. Dreaming of a big future, of going to far away lands and doing elaborate things. A place, hypothetical presently, where I am no more thinking of the future, When I know what I want to do and am doing it. Only when I contrasted it with my present did I realize how much I am adjusting and scraping through everything. If we had to literally step into the next day everyday, I would spend the whole day thinking if I should, and eventually just step into it anyway, just so that I can think about what'll happen days later.
Right situation? I don't know.








Saturday, August 20, 2016

Weakened in the Weekends?

Finally, I get a free weekend to tell you about my last few busy weekends. Since I am a hostel-resident, sweeping and cleaning the room, washing clothes, studying programming in C and going to the bank, before writing this still counts as a free weekend. The best thing about a weekend is that I can wake up at 9 and not worry about missing a class. However, by the time I reached the mess, all the hot dosas were gone and I had to content myself with butter toasts.

The story of my weekends begins on Friday, the 22th of July. I was still in Belgaum. I would be in Chennai, for just the second time in my life, in 3 days. I had to buy things. I had to pack things. I was in a frenzy. I even had to meet my friends, for I wouldn't meet them in another 6 months. Though I didn't buy everything nor pack them properly, I did meet my friends that day. I had to leave home on Saturday. Even until two hours before my estimated time of departure, I wasn't sure of what I would take and what I'd leave behind. Dad and I did leave on time and reached Chennai on Sunday afternoon. The frenzy hadn't died just yet. I bought shoes and other stuff. The next day, we visited the campus that would be my home for the next 5 years; cleaned the room, set it up, bought a set of mattress and pillow, and awaited the orientations that would follow throughout the week. And for a fact, I still didn't know who my roommate was. (That is a story for another time)

IITM has a five day week, with Saturdays and Sundays off. But, I was wrong to expect that the weekend will be uneventful. On Saturday, the 30th, Sathi had organized a Treasure Hunt for us Freshies. We were divided into groups of 20, and given 18 clues that led to different places in our campus. We had to decipher the clue, go to the place, and take a group selfie there with at least 10 of us in the frame. Our team did manage to decipher the clues and complete the task, but it was tiring running and cycling for 5-10 kilometres around the campus. Surprisingly, the purpose of the Treasure Hunt was different altogether, and Sathi succeeded in their purpose. At the end of the day, I had many new friends and new many of the places on campus.


The clues were interesting. For example, the first  clue was 'CULT without a cup.' In insti, cup stands for U grade (fail). This led to CLT or the Central Lecture Theater.

That night, I also watched my first movie, X-MEN: Apocalypse, in the Open Air Theater, in the rain.

Next Friday and Saturday, we were given an introduction to all the cultural clubs on campus at the Club Weekender. We were introduced to the following clubs, in no particular order; thespian, quiz, writing, word games, music, media, choreo, fine arts, comedy, oratory, the fifth estate, and informals clubs. Naturally, I was attracted to quiz, word games, and writing clubs. We had buzzer rounds and I won a few munches! Then we had some fun at the word games club. We played games like Russian Doll. In the end, I reached the writing club, and that is where I wrote corners, and began blogging again.

There were many orientations in the week, but last weekend was quite insignificant. The only big thing I did last weekend was make the plan for this piece. Today, we did a lot more. In the evening, we had a session by Shastra 2017 about virtual reality and augmented reality. We got to experience virtual reality using the OnePlus Loop VR Headsets. And tomorrow I am participating in the Terry Fox Run. So, wish me luck!

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Ambivalence

In recent times, maybe weeks or months, a kind of vacillation has gripped my mind. Its intensity keeps growing with time, and peaks at the minute of call. This indecision is like Betaal which doesn't want to let go of me. From trying to decide which route to take back home, to planning my day, I seem to be going bonkers about what to do. Even as I am typing this line, I'm thinking about whether I should complete this piece, study physics, or just listen to Kenny Sebastien and laugh.

This dichotomy is not just limited to indecision. I am an ambivert. I will put all my efforts to avoid speaking to someone on the phone, often even a close aide or a yesteryear friend. The Internet deserves a part of the blame. Even when I need to get some work done or some information, I avoid talking to people, even those I've known for years, for a simple reason, "I'll just Google it." Now-a-days, unsurprisingly, stopping en route and asking for directions has become obsolete; thanks to all the satellites, networks, and smart-phones. Nevertheless, often the extrovert in me wakes up. I begin to speak to complete strangers with ease. I go on a introductory spree and get to know new people and associate them with places and things. In the new college that I have come to, I have spoken to a minimum of a hundred people, but remember less than fifty of their names.

Either because of all the ragging that took place in colleges, or due to their exaggerated portrayal in movies like 3 Idiots, a policy has been taken up in IITM: All freshie hostels should be free of higher year students. Now, this puts me in a dilemma. Am I to meet my seniors or not? I have heard about freshies being invited to seniors' rooms in the night for interaction, but never been there. I have friends who have done that and they have exceedingly different experiences to share. Some say they were made to do things, act, sing, and dance, while others say they were offered genuine advice and support. One was even offered unused almost-sparklingly new books. I currently have a small experiment going on in my head to understand the difference between what happens of people who know many seniors, and people like me who know few. I even have some subjects and data points ready!

To pursue a job or not to was a decision I would have found daunting. But the road just got a lot steeper. Now, I have to choose and decide many things. NCC, NSS, or NSO (National Sports Organisation)? If NSO, which sport? What else do I go for? We have a club for everything: from Music, Dance, Thespian, to Comedy, Writing, Oratory, to Quiz, and Word Games, and many more. And for someone who doesn't fit any particular category, there is the Informals Club. And between all this, I have to study too! Just Kidding! I know why I am here, and if you would have read my previous post, you would too. Let's hope I get to use some of the tricks up my sleeves, and make good decisions.

Sunday, August 14, 2016

How Did I End Up Here?



There is a very unusually high probability that you, or any people you encounter, believe in one of these two theories: The Theory of Destiny or The Theory of Random Events. Followers of the former believe that every action, event, or decision taken, human or otherwise, has been written down. There is neither a way to change it, nor escape it. On the other hand, people like me believe that nothing in the universe occurs as a planned series of events. Things happen and you flow with it; believing that you had a role to play in it. You do what you can. And improvise.

All through high school, I knew I was interested in science. I wanted to delve into it. I had to study the foundations and build upon it. "But, science is so vast. Where do I begin?," I thought. Great advices come from people you don't actually believe in. That happened with me, during class 10. Some college principal advised me to study all the basic sciences, including biology. And I did. I studied Physics, Chemistry, Math, and Biology, in Class 11 and 12. Little did I know he was right.

In the winter of '14, I attended an INSPIRE Internship Camp. It was organised by GS Science College, Belgaum, and funded by Dept. of Science and Technology, Govt. of India. The intention of the camp was to inspire youth to make careers in science. For me, it was just a reassurance that I was going along the right path.

The camp revolved around all of the basic sciences, but I was attracted to Biology. Dr. Bhaskar Joshi's lecture on Stem Cells and Regenerative Medicine inspired me. Dialogue with him on differentiation of artificial stem cells showed me what I want to do in the future. That's when I said, "Biology, it is."
TOP RIGHT - Dr. Bhaskar Joshi, with mic. in hand.

For the whole INSPIRE photo album, http://sites.canvera.com/photobook.php?pin=6383813416

The milestones was fixed. All I needed to do was find a good-enough college ready to take me in. There were some where I wanted to go, but they couldn't take me in, like Harvard or IISc, Bengaluru. Then there were others who were ready to take me in, but I didn't want to go, like IISER - Pune and IISER - Kolkata. An equilibrium was reached at IIT Madras. So, here I am, studying Biological Sciences, in a BS-MS Dual Degree Research Program.


These are some of the random events that have brought me here.

Sunday, August 07, 2016

CORNERS

"Cozy, isn't it?"
I knew you'd ask,
If not for the curtains,
I'd be sure to bask.

Comfortable, it is,
I am the Grouch,
But, take me there,
I'd love to crouch.

Push me there,
I'll put you out,
I have my supports,
Don't need another bout.

I'm solid, I'm colourful,
But, expect no pamper;
"It surely is cozy"
I'd love to answer.

Back in Black

Hi People..!!

I am back, 
Back in Black.

Its been a really long time since I've updated the blog. Actually, its been a really long time since I've written anything at all, (except all the answers in examinations). For the past six months, all I've done is study, and find myself a university which is ready to take me in. Now I find myself in Indian Institute of Technology Madras, studying my favourite subject, Biology.

And to top it all, I just met the IIT Writing Club yesterday at the Club Weekender. Getting there and talking to the guys prompted me write a poem (that will appear as the next post), and hopefully this is the start of something good. I guess, the club will keep me going and make me write more often.

More updates about life at IIT Madras will follow (soon).


Without Wax,
Aditya Jeevannavar